Introduction: Why This Matters to You

Gambling is a popular pastime in New Zealand, from a cheeky flutter on the horses to a night out at the casino. However, for some, what starts as entertainment can spiral into a serious problem, impacting their finances, relationships, and overall well-being. If you’re new to the topic of problem gambling, it’s crucial to understand how to support someone who may be struggling. This guide provides practical advice and insights tailored to the New Zealand context, helping you navigate this challenging situation with empathy and effectiveness. Understanding the signs, knowing how to communicate, and accessing the right resources are key to helping a loved one regain control. It’s also important to remember that you are not alone; many Kiwis face similar situations, and support is readily available. Whether you’re concerned about a partner, family member, or friend, this article will equip you with the knowledge to make a positive difference. Perhaps they’ve been spending too much time in the gaming zone, and you’re starting to worry.

Recognizing the Signs: Spotting the Problem

The first step in supporting someone with a gambling problem is recognizing the signs. Problem gambling isn’t always obvious, and it can manifest in various ways. Be vigilant for the following indicators:

• Increased Spending: A sudden or gradual increase in the amount of money spent on gambling activities. This might involve using savings, borrowing money, or selling possessions to fund their habit.
• Preoccupation: Constantly thinking about gambling, planning future gambling sessions, or reliving past gambling experiences.
• Chasing Losses: Feeling the need to gamble more and more to try and win back money that has been lost.
• Withdrawal Symptoms: Experiencing irritability, restlessness, or anxiety when unable to gamble.
• Lying and Deception: Hiding gambling activities from loved ones, lying about the amount of money spent, or the frequency of gambling.
• Relationship Problems: Gambling leading to conflicts with family or friends, or causing a breakdown in relationships due to financial strain or secrecy.
• Neglecting Responsibilities: Failing to meet work, school, or other obligations due to gambling.
• Financial Difficulties: Mounting debt, unpaid bills, and financial instability as a direct result of gambling.

It’s important to remember that these signs don’t automatically mean someone has a gambling problem. However, if you observe several of these indicators, it’s a good idea to start a conversation and seek professional advice.

Initiating the Conversation: How to Talk About It

Having a conversation about problem gambling can be difficult, but it’s a crucial step. Approach the conversation with empathy, understanding, and a non-judgmental attitude. Here’s how to initiate the discussion:

• Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a private and comfortable setting where you can talk without distractions. Avoid having the conversation when emotions are running high or when the person is actively gambling.
• Express Your Concerns: Start by expressing your genuine concern and explaining what you’ve observed. Use “I” statements to avoid blaming or accusing. For example, “I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time at the casino lately, and I’m worried about you.”
• Listen Actively: Allow the person to share their feelings and experiences without interruption. Show that you’re listening by nodding, making eye contact, and asking clarifying questions.
• Avoid Judgment: Refrain from judging or criticizing their behavior. Instead, focus on expressing your care and support.
• Be Patient: The person may become defensive or deny the problem. Be patient and understand that it may take time for them to acknowledge the issue and seek help.
• Offer Support: Let them know that you’re there to support them and that you’re willing to help them find resources.
• Set Boundaries: While offering support, it’s also important to set healthy boundaries to protect your own well-being. For example, you might decide not to lend them money or enable their gambling behavior.

Seeking Professional Help: Resources in Aotearoa

Supporting someone with a gambling problem often requires professional help. In New Zealand, several resources are available to provide support and treatment:

• Problem Gambling Foundation of New Zealand: This organization offers free and confidential counselling, education, and support services for individuals and families affected by problem gambling. They have regional offices and a helpline.
• Gambling Harm Reduction Services: These services are available throughout New Zealand and provide a range of support, including counselling, group therapy, and financial advice.
• Healthline: You can call Healthline on 0800 611 116 to speak to a registered nurse who can provide advice and direct you to relevant services.
• General Practitioners (GPs): Your GP can provide initial support, assess the situation, and refer the person to specialist services.
• Mental Health Services: Problem gambling often co-occurs with other mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. Mental health services can provide support for these conditions.
• Gambling Helpline: The Gambling Helpline (0800 654 655) is a free, confidential service available 24/7. They provide immediate support and can connect people with local services.

Encourage the person to seek professional help and offer to assist them in finding and accessing these resources. Attending counselling sessions together can also be beneficial.

Taking Care of Yourself: Supporting You

Supporting someone with a gambling problem can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to take care of your own well-being throughout this process. Here are some tips:

• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your emotional and financial well-being.
• Seek Support for Yourself: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your own feelings and experiences.
• Join a Support Group: Consider joining a support group for family members of people with gambling problems. This can provide a sense of community and understanding.
• Educate Yourself: Learn as much as you can about problem gambling to better understand the situation.
• Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that help you relax and de-stress, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature.
• Remember You Can’t “Fix” Them: The person with the gambling problem must take responsibility for their own recovery. You can offer support, but you cannot force them to change.

Conclusion: A Path to Recovery

Supporting someone with a gambling problem in New Zealand requires patience, understanding, and access to the right resources. Recognizing the signs, initiating open and honest communication, and encouraging professional help are crucial steps. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and seek support for yourself. With the right support and treatment, recovery is possible. By following these guidelines, you can help your loved one navigate the challenges of problem gambling and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling life. The journey may be difficult, but your support can make a significant difference in their path to recovery.